Ready ready ready ready to run...

Why do I have such an issue with being content?

I have been living in Philadelphia for nearly three years now. It has been my home since I left sunny southern California and my west coast life. Sigh. I have spent the past two years learning and growing in ways I never thought I would, or would ever even want to. Why is there still an itch to leave? To run? To start over yet again?

Why am I uncomfortable calling Philly my home?

I have become a part of a community here in Philly unlike any I could have ever imagined. It has been just over two years since I joined Liberti Church: Fairmount. www.liberti.org I am challenged, encouraged, loved in ways I never expected to be. I am part of a community of Christians unlike any I grew up with. Real, broken, redeemed, people who love Jesus and want to live seeking His path and His will for their lives. People who want to get up in my mess and do life with me. People who want me in their mess and want me to walk with them as we journey along. A group of people that I fit in with, without compromising any part of who I am or who God created me to be. Who would run from that? God has led me and planted me right in the middle of the type of church and community life that I have sought my entire life. Shouldn't peace and contentment come with that?

I am unsettled.

As the seasons change back to spring and I feel able to breath a little deeper, soak in the cool sunlight that makes my heart swell with joy.........I get that itch. Run. Go. Plan the next adventure. The next chapter. I mean, no one will realllllllly notice if I go. What's the harm? Everyone knows I am a west coast kid and must return to the Pacific NW at some point. Right? I mean, have you ever SEEN Mount Hood?

The point of this confession, the truly amazing thing, is that I do not go. I am still here. I dig deeper into my community, deeper into my life here in this crazy city. This crazy city that I am learning to love, as difficult as it is most days. I am learning what it means to serve God where I am. I am letting go of my fear of being content.

The itch is still lingering. Is God planting seeds? Is this itch the beginning of a new journey? Perhaps it is not about running, but going where I am led. For now, it is Philadelphia.

What next?